Pure Religion is this.

I wrote this blog right after returning from Kingston. I wasn't ready to "publish" it (not that anyone reads this!) as my heart was heavy and I felt too vulnerable. But now, as I am fighting to get back to Kingston... to me, this is an excellent reminder who I am fighting for.

December 12th


I wanted to write again when we got back from GH Children’s home on Saturday but I just couldn’t. I was overwhelmed with emotion and had to process. GH is children’s home for children who have been found on the streets or who’s parents have been incarcerated or have passed away. Some of the children have disabilities but most are just delayed due to lack of stimulation. I didn’t think I could feel more than I felt the day before at our visits to the special needs orphanages, but somehow my heart felt even heavier.

Our new friend, Claudette who brought us around the homes is a beautiful, feisty woman in her 50’s who works a full-time business job (yet somehow manages to endlessly serve her church and the children’s homes). She asked us Friday night if we were “sure” we had enough energy for Saturday. We stated without hesitation “absolutely” ready and invigorated by our previous days adventures. Little did we know what she meant…

We walked into GH and I was yet again amazed by the cleanliness of the run-down facility. We went to the toddler room for children Owen’s age first. There was one woman and twenty 1-2 year-olds in the area. Many of the children still on their camp-like metal beds, some locked in a caged beds, crying in anguish for attention and to get their soiled sheets cleaned. A pile of mismatched clothing and underwear lay on an empty bed and the tireless worker doing her best to get each child into some type of clothing. She looked at us stone-faced and with no emotion, “it’s Saturday, we are understaffed.” Apparently, it was her and 1 other women left to about 60 kids under the age of 6, including infants (I now have absolutely no room to complain about handling my one 2 year-old!).

We picked up the worse-than-goodwill looking clothing and began to help lotion and clothe the children. I would clothe one child (in mismatched and wrong-sized clothing) and set them down to go yet they would hold up their feet (a trick Owen does often when he wants to be held) and begin to cry fighting to stay in our laps. Most of the children had very little language, and those who did were very difficult to understand. The neglect and lack of stimulation was evident- but even more was their need for touch and love. We couldn’t possibly have held the children enough. Many of the children would say “Momma” in hopes to grab my attention again. Momma, such an important and endearing term however I knew that they probably had no real understanding of what what this word meant.

The morning consisted of 1 coloring book, a bag of markers and 5 books (we brought them for the babies yet they ended up being occupied by the older kids) for all the kids in the home to share. Remember the couple times that Jesus multiplied the fish and the loaves?! Well, so was it with the coloring book and markers. Somehow it occupied for a good couple hours. Most of the morning for Joe and I was taken up by holding the children- sometimes two or three at a time. Every couple minutes I thought of my Owen- all the hugs, holds and kisses he received. He probably was given more in his first week of life than these children's lifetimes.

…. And the babies- each in their own crib, picked up to be fed to be laid back down again. Even the youngest week-old babies don’t get fed at night and are let to cry till morning. We held them, sang to them and I dreamed of bringing them all home with me.

It was painfully difficult to walk out the door when we were told it was time to leave that afternoon. I felt myself searching for reason and comfort in a situation that seemed to have no hope. On the ride home I was reminded that there is much more going on then even I could see… our God is in the business of saving… “He defends the cause of the fatherless, giving food and clothing” (Deut 24:19), “He hears the cries of the orphan" (Exodus 22:22), “He is a father to the fatherless" (Psalm 68:5).

Religion is a topic full of emotion and controversy. But when I was at GH and the other children’s homes it seemed so simple. Jesus was evident, the children pure and it was my job to allow my heart to move and my body to give.… “Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world” (James 1).

As I finish the blog from my suburban home warmed by electric heating and snuggled in clothing that match and fit just right- there is a call for me to remember this scripture and not forget what I experienced. It is also a call not allow commonality stain spirituality and to continue this religion (no matter where I am).

"Ya Mon".. First adventures in Jamaica and the children's homes

We spent 13 hours in the airport on Thursday where we had our first Jamaican experience (even though we were in Ft. Lauderdale, Florida). Long story short: the airline left us and 13 Jamaican’s to our own in FL to find a flight and make it to Jamaica (our plane was under technical repairs.) The 13 of us grew close (I marveled at their accents) and we learned about each others lives on the floor of the crowded airport. When we finally made it to Jamaica at 1:00am (time of arrival WAS at 4p the previous day) Joseph and I hugged our new Caribbean family, they ensured we had a ride and were taken care of. The Jamaican culture is unique, and I love it.

Joseph and I are here on behalf of our church to explore the possibility of bringing in ESP (extraspecialpeople.com) resources and starting a week-long ESP camp in a couple of the disability children’s homes (a 3 year dream for me). Here in Jamaica, kids with disabilities are often times abandoned leaving several children’s homes working diligently to care for the hundreds of these children. (note: the children are property of the country and therefore we were not allowed to take pictures. I wish I could show you their faces. Words will do, but not do their beauty justice.)

Yesterday we were able to visit two places: a center for children with disabilities and a children’s home for children with disabilities. We went to serve, play and explore. We did not want to come in as “know it all American’s” ready “fix” what they worked so hard to achieve. We wanted to come in the image of Jesus. If the opportunity arose to talk about what I do in the states, and the dream we had, we would take it.

I definitely had fears coming in- What if what I have isn’t needed? What if they didn’t want what I have to offer? What if we are turned down?

The first place we visited for only a few minutes (our ride took an “extended lunch break” from work in order to drive us around). We walked in and the sight was oh so familiar, 15 children with cerebral palsy and multiple disabilities in a circle practicing Christmas carols. Once they saw us, the workers quickly got them together for the favorite song, one with 4 soloist. The tears were almost instant for Joseph and I- the workers hummed the tune to Silver Bells and the children strained out their best voices. To an untrained ear it may have sounded like nothing at all- but to us, it was beautiful, perfect.

The second, a children’s home, was even more impactful. We were welcomed at the gate by Omar, a young man around 14 with an intellectual disability. Omar took his job very seriously- and he opened our doors and made sure they were to close locked. One of the staff members showed us around the 3rd world looking facility that somehow houses 52 children with disabilities (yet was amazingly clean). We got to the back of the facility where many of the kids were left alone to stimulate themselves. The children instantly got excited and began waving, clapping and body rocking. One boy Dave, also bound to a wheelchair, hugged us and tried his best to show off the toy in his hand- an old, dirty fisher price toy missing all of it’s parts that he proudly called his “truck.” Roy, a little boy with Downs syndrome (who they call Mr. Roy, apparently he tries to own the place) gave us hug after hug. There was Deena, Andre and Leon who I got the most time with. There were also several children in the back, locked in a gate.. those are the children with aberrant behavior who are labeled “not able to learn.”

Children are children everywhere- and many of the children at both homes reminded me of one that I love back home. The pure joy, love for the small things in life and perseverance to push past their disability was there, just as the kids at ESP.

Our driver decided to leave us- I think she realized that she wasn’t going to be able to pull me away after only 15 minutes. I don’t know how long she left us (I think it was a couple hours) but time flew by and I felt as if I were home.

Joseph and I sat down with one of the teachers, talked about her teaching strategies, asked her questions and commended her work. Once she found out my experience and schooling- she began asking me questions to help her with her classroom materials and ideas for teaching functional skills. The conversation lead to ESP Camp… which lead to another conversation with her and the director of the home. We all four sat in the little office and talked for an hour about what we could do, how we could help… all of our eyes, hearts and minds began to come alive with the possibilities and we began to dream together as to what the camp would look like and all that we could accomplish through it.

I could visualize and feel an ESP Camp in both the first program and the children’s home: the hope, the love and the ESP magic.

“To humans belong the plans of the heart, but from the LORD comes the proper answer of the tongue.
All a person’s ways seem pure to them, but motives are weighed by the LORD.
Commit to the LORD whatever you do, and HE will establish your plans.”
Proverbs 16:1-3

I began the post with “Ya mon.” It’s actually more like “Ya Man”… but really fast. I thought it may be a stereotype, but was happy to find that nearly every Jamaican we have spoken to has said it at least once. Upon arrival, I was prepared to get a big fat “No, man” regarding the plans of my heart. Thanks be to God- and the beautiful Jamaican culture- who welcomed us with a “Ya Mon.” It is only the beginning. It’s exciting to be a part of His plan, as He leads me to become more like these children, and ultimately more like Jesus.

More visits to come… and more to share…

The race marked out for us..

.... was NOT easy. As a matter of fact... we realized how flat our training ground (Athens) was when the ENTIRE course (midtown Atlanta) was uphill (not exaggerating).... sigh.... But it was the race we chose, and the course marked out for us.

There is so much symbolism in running... Which is why I deep-thinker, dreamer, and find-the-meaning-of-every-moment probably love it. And why Joseph lets-just-keep-life simple, does not.

Life is full of hills (these felt like mountains)... but together we encouraged each other to make it through. We also couldnt have done it without the loudly cheering volunteers on the sidelines. I am so grateful I don't have to do life's race alone and for the many friends who cheerlead me through.

Top Ten Highlights:
10. We stayed together the WHOLE time... the bright yellow duo
9. We finished.
8. My own personal goal was to smile, the whole time... and encourage those around me. I wanted to enjoy the moment.
7. We Finished.
6. We made several friends... 2 hours running next to someone will do that to you. There is some type of closeness you feel when you're sharing this type of insanity.
5. We Finished.
4. We prayed together every 3rd mile... working to remember that this was a gift, and also God's day. Our act of worship.
3. We Finished.
2. Joseph couldn't walk 9 months ago due to RA... today, he ran 13.1 miles.
1. We Finished- and not only that, but much faster than our training time... 2 hrs. 16min.



Now.... on to next thing (convincing Joe to do a FULL marathon.......;-))






"1Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us." Hebrew 12:1

Hannah in High Esteem.

"Let nothing be done through contention, neither by vain glory: but in humility, let each esteem others better than themselves."
Philippians 2:3

Tonight I will be attending a high school football game in honor of one of our long time ESP Campers, Hannah. Hannah is a bright eyed, freckled, positive high school senior who is on the cheerleading squad and who loves to sing, has a hundred or more friends, and who has also been nominated for homecoming court. Oh, and Hannah also has Down Sydrome.

I am very excited for Hannah... but what excites me even more about attending such a nastolgic event is... the senior class that nominated her. Homecoming and prom queen/king in high school is SUCH a big deal (remember those days?!). However, this senior class despite the pressure and expectations faced- has some type of maturity... some type of understanding of a bigger picture to sacrifice the "vain glory" and humbly esteem Hannah.

There may be a whole lotta "things going wrong in high schools these days".... but at Madison County High School there's a whole lotta right going on too.

http://www.onlineathens.com/stories/100110/new_714343182.shtml (Front Page news on ABH)

RA, Take the highway!

Modern medicine is a gift.

I, however, tend to be one of those people that hesitates to take antibiotics, waits to take my child to the doctor and lets the "fever work" believing that the body works it's best when taken care of with diet, exercise, sleep etc...

UNTIL.... Joseph was diagnosed with RA.

8 months ago, J's test results were:
C-reactive protein level: 34.2. (NORMAL level is 0-4.2)
CCP antibodies level >250 (NORMAL level is is 0-32) Crazy....through the roof, right?

There is not a cure for RA. But, God gives wisdom to those brilliant enough to come up with something called: biologic response modifiers- compounds made from living cells that block the cell protein fighting against the joints of someone with RA (wrap your brain around that one! makes mine hurt typing it).

...after ONLY 6 months of this modern medicine (and lots of prayer), J's test results this week showed his C-reactive protein level to be 0.8 (from 34.2) and his CCP antibody level at 25 (from >250). Not only normal.. but "healthy" normal. A-mazing, I know.

Our first half marathon is in only 14 days (and once complete- I too may be tapping into some modern medicine:-)) So, listen here, Mr. RA..... I think it's time for you to take the highway.

Gifts.

At the end of every week at ESP Camp (extraspecialpeople.com) I remind my 30 staff to reflect and write a "Gift." At ESP, the term "gift" is very different than what society has coined the term to mean... it is not a good, a physical exchange or money. At ESP a "gift" is a transfer of something intrinsic, something unseen to the naked eye but felt, heard and understood. During the 7 weeks of laborious hours at ESP: diaper changing, slobber wiping, meal missing, tantrum controlling... there are small moments of magic that occur in the form of love... they are gifts.

"........(She has autism but) I felt like somehow I got through to her for the first time in that moment, and sharing a laugh with someone is the most raw, real and fun moment you could ever share. This past week I felt like I got through to her..if only for a minute...but that minute meant the world to me."

"....Watching these kids soar in activities brought tears to my eyes and made me realize how capable they are to do anything, it just means they can accomplish it in a different way. I feel so blessed to witness these miracles that others would not consider amazing, but it truly is incredible. This week was so eye opening and such a great experience for my heart and I can't wait for next summer"

"...The gifts from campers this week piled one on top of the other. 'J' learned sign language so she could communicate with 'A'. 'H' constantly singing and saying, "I'm happy." 'E' walking around the cabin in the buff carrying on perfectly legitimate conversations. 'K' hiding a slew of balloons in the closet so she could surprise her mom at pick up. 'B' telling me happy birthday...even when it was the day after my birthday. Not to mention, my birthday in and of itself was a gift. All the kids and staff made me feel loved and adored"

I could go on with heartfelt narratives from college students who have sacrificed their summers to serve children with disabilities... yet find themselves getting much more than they gave.

It is a calling for me (and for us all?) to cherish the "small" moments... with our family, our children, our friends, our community. I am going to work to notice (and note) those moments even when I am not at ESP. I guess the saying is true: the best gifts come in the smallest packages.

E.S.P.

The first week of camp flew by without kink or fail. It was so exciting to have the kids back, and as they walked through the doors with beaming faces, it was as if the had never left.

Joe and I were honored to be able to share about ESP during communion today at church, tying servitude and sacrifice to Jesus and the cross. Even if it was not meaningful to anyone listening, it was so special to me. God has taught me the most invaluable lessons through ESP. I feel honored and so lucky to work in such a magical place: a place where dreams become realities, where kids with disabilities are treated for who they are (instead of who they are not) and a place where young counselors find a joy that only comes through giving of themselves.

When I read about Jesus touching the blind man, the leper, the lame and healing them- I can't help but think that ESP is one of the first places Jesus will arrive when he comes back. I can't wait to see my kids running, speaking in full sentences and living without chronic pain. Until then, I'll keep working to heal them on the inside.. and as I do, they will heal me even more.

www.extraspecialpeople.com


*Special thanks to Olivia M. for the beautiful photography!

Treasures.

Money- can't live with it, or without it.

Thus far we have seen many physical gains in only 3 weeks of J's treatment, the drug (made from living cells) is extremely powerful for a very powerful disease. It is also extremely expensive. Initially, we were encouraged that the insurance company was going to pay almost all of the treatment....but this past week told they were switching us to another pharmacy so we have to cover a lot more of the costs.

In J's mind, he will no longer be treated if we have to pay ___ a month for the treatment... in my mind that is not an option, but what are our options? We are working to apply for other aid.... God has always provided.

Regardless... I feel the knock at my door to again cycle through discouragement, worry... and ultimately a desire to control the situation. And then I am brought back to the truth.

"Do not store up for yourselves treasures on earth, where moth and rust destroy, and where thieves break in and steal. But store up for yourselves treasures in heaven, where moth and rust do not destroy, and where thieves do not break in and steal. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also."

What we treasure:

Owen.





A marriage, grounded by Him.








Family





Close, deep friendships that call us higher..





The ability to touch lives...


















And most importantly, a Father who has given unconditional love, forgiveness, grace, and the ability to be our best selves...


While many others travel the world (still hope to), dress their children in designer clothing and drive luxurious cars... J and I will probably always be faced with medical bills. However, I have begun to see this as a blessing for us.... it will be a constant reminder build up treasures in heaven. "For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also"

The virtual facelift.

"A blog is a type of website, usually maintained by an individual with regular entries of commentary, descriptions of events, or other material such as graphics or video."

Key term:regular entries. What is regular in my life? Not much at this point... other than many family members and friends maintaing their locations throughout the eastern side of the country. So, I decided to start anew- facelift my blog.. and begin blogging for anyone and everyone who would like to read. Life has it's many adventures.. and God continues to lead us through.

For anyone who is behind....
Cliff Notes: Joseph and I married in December of 2006, young (well, I was;-) 7 years difference between us) and in love. A short 9 months later.. we received news that we were pregnant with the beloved Owen (aka miracle child) and 9 months after that... our lives drastically changed, again. In the last 2 years we have had a child, worked on school (Joseph back in school for accounting and me graduate in special education), I am the director of a local non-profit for children with developmental disabilities (see the "support" tab) and Joseph working at Starbucks (sbux) while finishing school. In midst of our crazy 7a-11p schedules.. Joseph was diagnosed with progressive Rheumatoid Arthritis, an autoimmune disease that breaks down the joints, muscle etc. God has lead us to an amazing doctor who was willing to fight insurances for us to receive the best (and most expensive) treatment... and thus, we are on week 2.... so far, so good.

That's pretty much it. Most of the blog will consume stories, pictures and videos of our wonderful little toe-head (blonde.. it's not an insult) two-year-old. But, just as other blogs many times inspire me to be the best me- I hope that our love for each other, love for life, and love for our father will too inspire you.

Hebrews 10:24 "Let us think of ways to motivate one another to acts of love and good works."